The positive support I received from my last blog post (thank you!) has given me the courage to write some of the harder things I’ve gone through over the past while. Two new essays are plotted, and one is taking shape. I’ve struggled to finish them because until now, I wasn’t allowing myself to be finished, to settle into a place of closure.
I think I’ve mentioned before on my blog that my sister often says “if you aren’t sure what to do, wait. More information is coming.” A friend told me the other day to let go and just…trust. Instead of acting on threats and rumours, I waited, and it’s worked out.
Today, I have nearly finished the first draft of an essay that I couldn’t wrangle for months. Feels like I’m sitting in a sunbeam…so good.
So I made a playlist. Along with some traditional songs about Mary (the essay is strongly connected to Mary, motherhood, and trust), I have added the following. For the first time in a long time, I sense a feminine and strong presence. For the first time in a long time, the world feels wide open to me. I feel a sense of power, or propulsion driving me forward, making me brave.
Other things that have got me here – Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, meditation, visualization, and working on keeping my boundaries in place (Brene Brown was right – some people don’t like it when you stand up for yourself!)
Also, HANDWRITING my ideas and thoughts in my journal. Completely different connection to the words I write. (Also gives me an excuse to use all those fountain pens I ordered…)
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well… And all manner of things shall be exceeding well.” Julian of Norwich was an English anchoress and an important Christian mystic. Her Revelations of Divine Love, written around 1395, is the first book in the English language known to have been written by a woman. (from wikipedia)