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Kim
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My grandfather passed away on May 6, 2013, three days before my birthday. I’ve been thinking of him more than usual, perhaps […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Once again, I am last-minute posting. Already my worst month of the year, this February held a lot of unexpected (and okay, […]
I really did write a post while in London! However, it doesn’t really reflect my feelings on the place, so I suppose I’ll […]
5 thoughts on “Protected: Endings”
Hi Kim, I sounds like you were in a relationship with a toxic person, maybe even someone with borderline personality disorder. I have had three such people in my life – a boss, a sibling and an in-law. They plot, they use, they cheat, they harm. It’s a game they play, but you don’t really know you’re in it until you’re already immersed. They make a move, you respond, they make another move. They keep changing the rules before you realize this really is a game. Toxic people can bring you down, but only if you let them. So, the less you let them occupy your space and the more you are able to reject the notion of their ever having been a part of your life, the better off you will be. Just walk away from him and pretend he doesn’t exist.
Oh yeah – not BPD – been there, survived that. There are other cluster B disorders. Similar traits for sure.
The blinders are off, don’t worry. All is well. Thanks for reading. 🙂
Ah Kim, I’ve been there. It’s not worth waiting for an apology that won’t come. Forgive yourself. Let go. If you hold on, he wins.
Forgiving is the issue – I think I just realized this in the past week. I am struggling with trying to forgive someone who will never be (can never be?) sorry. I couldn’t get there until I stopped taking responsibility (and making excuses) for every single thing. Been working since November of 2014 on forgiving me – I now know I did all I could. I know what I did wrong. I know I was part of a game that had rules I had no hope of understanding. I know there will never be an apology. There never has been, never will be. I’m ok – “strong-willed like water…” I like that visual a lot. xo
I feel that you are so much stronger than even YOU give yourself credit for. You are exceptional at “seeing” deep into people. Sometimes seeing things that they didn’t notice or even realize.
There are also some people who are like magicians. They use the power of distraction to pull you into their vortex or reality. Before you know it the strongest of people become committed to seeing the “trick” to the end. Even when the glimmer of a glitch in the trick appears you excuse it or brush it off because it could potentially unravel the surprise or the reality thats been created.
I’m not trying to be deep or a psychologist but when you’re dealing with cray-cray, sometimes its best to take the fucking wand, cut the assistant in half and walk away.