As I mentioned in my last post, I seem to have lost any sense of creativity for blogging.
Part of it is just being worn out. June is always challenging, but this year seemed more intense than usual.
That said, I always end the year grateful for my time with my students. There really isn’t a better job in the world. I have read through close to 200 year end journal entries over the past few days and wow – what a collision of personalities and experiences.
I wonder sometimes if parents really think about how hard it is for their kid to spend all day with 27 or 28 other people, in a small room (often without a window, always without air circulation), trying to pay attention to what they are supposed to be paying attention to.
With the provincial election coming in 2019, the rhetoric against teachers is ramping up. But I really hope people really look at what’s happening in kids’ lives these days. They are pulled in so many directions (some kids referenced wanting to get straight As, then others referenced being asked to “send nudes.” Some students are as young as twelve.
It’s a little disheartening for me to see people complaining about low math scores when this is what kids are dealing with. Pressure from parents to do well, pressure from friends to share personal pictures and information. Then some teacher says “hey, hand in this assignment.” So many times this year I had to get through the arguments on social media, or the shoving in the hallway, or the straight up disrespect of students to even start talking about subjects and predicates.
Here’s the kind of thing that I hold on to. Seeing a kid finally control his temper. Spending time with a student who just needs to talk, and realizing how much these kids carry.
Watching shy, nervous, unsure students perform slam poetry. Cheering on students too cool to look me in the eye during pep rallies. Winning the home room challenge. Hanging up a pride flag in my classroom.
Or reading a letter from a girl who said English was her worst subject, but that “something clicked” when I read Word Nerd to the class and now she reads every night.
There were so many missed opportunities and little failures this year – sometimes it’s easy to dwell on them, and not notice the good on the other side of the scale. Hopefully I learn from my failures and do better next year.
I’ve been writing more, and have a few things shaping up. It takes a lot of time, I find, to get my work to where I am okay (never comfortable) with sending it out. I’m looking forward to summer to work on my novel and to get that damned non-fiction piece that’s been gnawing at me done.
If I hit my deadlines over the next week or so, I will be in good shape to start submitting work in September. Depending on how things shake out, I may have a first draft of my novel by January. Or, a good start on a non-fiction collection. Or, some random blogs, posted at the very last minute each month.
Song: Love Lana Del Rey
Book: The Conjoined Jen Sookfong Lee
Run: Nope, but I bought a new running bra, so, soon!