Well, that’s that. The answer I’ve been looking for – what it means to be Gomeshied.
I understand the legalities of the thing. I understand innocent until proven etc. etc. That’s not what this is about.
Gomeshied means status quo. Gomeshied means sit down and be quiet.
It means someone can hit/punch/pull hair/sexually assault/threaten/force himself on another person (I’m a person!) with no legal consequences.
It means “May I ask what the circumstances were of him hitting you?” It means shutting down and not telling the rest, because why would you? Who’s brave enough for that kind of reaction?
It means talking to the police/a lawyer/a girlfriend/your partner/a priest and getting the same reaction. How can that be? He’s a well-known radio host/TV star/musician/teacher/church leader. Are you sure you want to put this out there?
Telling means losing friends.
Still sorting through all this, but I find it impossible not to extend all I’ve learned to teaching – what do I tell my students? What do I tell my daughter? I honestly don’t know if I could counsel them to tell. To trust in a process that is still stuck in a time where Jodie Foster made everyone rethink consent in The Accused. (How many years ago was that? Twenty-Five?)
Yeah, I understand the legalities of it all. It’s still a knockdown.
And micro vs macro, it’s why I didn’t report. Not then, and not now.
And the apology? There was a time that would have made a huge difference, to me, anyway. “Well, sorry…” and “Sorry, but…” are not apologies but excuses for awful treatment.
I’m sure Ghomeshi will have someone vet his apology. For what it’s worth.